Wednesday, April 7, 2010

You Know You're in the Terrible Twos with Two If..." #20

you realize you have just had a major milestone- your first double spanking!!! Wow, special moment, not really. First, calm down grandmas and anti-spankers. By "spanking" I actually mean a good ole' Southern leg smacking. See, that's much better right?
It all started when I was very responsibly loading the dishwasher as you can find me doing approximately 63 times a week. I had left the little ones playing together in the living room while the big ones were upstairs avoiding loading the dishwasher. As I worked away I suddenly realized the sound I heard was Luke's nails on the hardwood at the entry. Since I had just let him out I realized someone must have let him back in. Then I realized it wasn't Jackson or Ashton and jumped the kitchen gate like the finest thoroughbred. To my horror (and yet no surprise) the front door was wide open and there were no wee ones to be found. I ran with breakneck speed just to see them playing in the driveway having the time of their lives. Unfortunately for him, Wesley was the closest and I got on my knees and gently and lovingly explained the error of his ways or I yelled "no go outside, no no no no" and smacked his little legs. Well, when you have two and the 2nd one sees what just rained down on the 1st he runs for his little life and don't let his size fool you- that Will is quick! Fortunately, I had mommy fury speeding me along so I quickly caught him and gave him some of the same medicine. As I walked back to the house holding the hands of two screaming toddlers while still "gently" repeating "no no no" I realized the entire neighborhood probably just witnessed that and were debating whether they should call human services due to the fact that my children were outside unsupervised or that I got their legs- tough decision, huh?
Then the whole double spanking set in and dozens more like it flashed before my eyes. It was another one of those weird "oh my goodness I have twins!" moments that Jon and I sometimes experience. I've never had to spank Jackson and Ashton at the same time because they are usually getting punished for what they have done to the other one. While Will and Wesley have certainly gotten punishments for what they have done to each other, they also have the terrifying ability to work together to aspire to new levels of mischief! Before these two are done with me I might have to join the ranks of the wooden spoon mommas- you know who you are! Or there is always the equally popular ping pong paddle club- decisions decisions! Which one should I pledge with? That is if the neighbors didn't decide to call me in for both offenses first which will be another thing times two. Feel free to leave me a comment telling me which implement works better- anonymously of course!

2 comments:

Fireman Max said...

My momma used the spoon and replaced at least 3 I might add due to my hard little butt. :)

Anonymous said...

I say change it up... that way they never know what to expect comin'=)