Wordless Wednesday...

Update: Wesley is DEFINATELY Jon's Favorite Now...

If you'll remember this post, I told you Will was Jon's favorite because Wesley said Daddy caught a baby fish and he caught a whale. Well, today Will slipped so far down that list I'm not sure he's going to be able to climb back up.

You see, there's something that's been happening for the last few years that we aren't really allowed to talk about. Well, actually Ashton talks about it all the time, but she somehow gets it away with it. It's something that's been happening, or not happening considering how you look at it, on top of my sweet husband's head... Let's just say he now wears a baseball cap out of necessity and not choice these days :)

Today we were moving some furniture that hadn't been moved in a while, and apparently the last time Ashton cleaned out the hairbrush the clump of hair hid under the furniture. So, when Jon and I moved it Will saw the clump of hair and came running, yelling excitedly and picked up the hair. He said, "Here's Daddy's hair!"

Oh yes he did! It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen because he was so very proud of himself and so genuinely happy for Jon!

You can imagine Jon himself wasn't exactly happy although even he had to admit it was hilarious.

I thought about having Jon put it on like a toupee so I could take a picture for my blog but realized that might have been a tad bit gross. Funny though, right?

My sweet Will might need speech therapy, but he can sure get his point across when he wants to, and I'm so glad we heard this one :)

Oh, Relaxing Saturday- Not in This House...

I just love a good cleaning on Saturday morning, except when it isn't me or Jon cleaning but two two year olds. There's nothing like hearing Jackson yell for us to come quick. Wesley had the spray bottle of vinegar going to town spraying my table. While Will, sweet Will, was spraying the kitchen floor with cooking spray. Then when he saw me coming for him he took off running, slipped and pretty much basted himself!

You know, the twins get a bad rap here on the blog so let this post be called "what-I-can't-believe-my-stinking-9-year-old-did-who-ought-to-know-better".

You see I scrubbed and mopped and got up all the cooking spray I could, but it still remained a little slick. A few hours later Jon and I were working upstairs rearranging our bedroom, and Jackson kept wanting Jon to come see his "free style area" he had set up for his remote control car. Jon finally came down to see to his horror that Jackson had noticed how his car spun on the slick part Will had sprayed. So he decided to take the cooking spray and spray a track around the entire kitchen!!!!!!!!!!!

I am mad, dumbfounded, and mad again just typing that. I mean seriously!

He spent the afternoon scrubbing the floor on his hands and knees. It is still like a skating rink in our kitchen. Jon and I keep slipping every which way. I'm 99% sure I won't be at church in the morning because I will go tearing in there to make sippy cups since we're late and probably break a leg. Isn't that all I need?

If You Let a Will Over a Gate...

I hope you know the books "If You Give A Mouse a Cookie" because they are my inspiration for this post (I'm late or it would probably be another post of terrible twos)

If you let a Will over the kitchen gate and then forget where he was, you will come back a minute later and find him like this:

The chocolate milk loving Will will have opened the fridge and got out the gallon of milk all on his own then went into the pantry and got his own straw. You will later learn he had already done this twice and dropped his straw down in the milk when you pour a cup and two straws come falling out! Then he will look adorable sipping from hi straw like this:

You will admire his cuteness, take pictures for your blog the decide to return the milk to the fridge. The Will will then begin doing this on your kitchen floor:

What feels like hours later he will stop and you will smile thinking of the cute pictures you got for your blog.

But then the next day, you will again forget to put the fridge lock on and walk in just in time to divert a cup pouring disaster to find this under your table:

If you let him, the Will's smile will steal your heart and get him out of a lot of trouble!

You Know You're in the Terrible Twos with Two If..." #36

I saved my favorite one for last. This actually happened a few months ago, but I've been waiting to blog it to make sure I had the words to make you appreciate the deviousness of this action. This will be our final terrible twos with two post since today is the boys' third birthday!!! Just think I thought I might run out of material for these posts and I am writing my 36th! Unfortunately, I have enough material for even more than that, but that's all I had time to blog about in between cleaning up "accidents" and installing door latches to keep them from going outside alone, again.

So, when we finally took down the gate at the bottom of the stairs since they figured out how to climb over it anyway we realized we had to figure out how to keep them from getting into too much trouble upstairs (i.e. playing in the potty, dumping water out of the sink, destroying Jackson's Lego creations, using Ashton's art supplies, etc.). We decided to lock all the doors upstairs except their bedroom. It actually worked really well until one of us would need to get into, let's say the bathroom, quickly. Jon put the little metal key that you stick in the hole on the door to unlock it at the top of the door where the kids couldn't reach it. One day I was in a hurry and just set the key down instead of putting it back up. By the time I realized what I had done it was gone. We all looked and looked for it put couldn't find it anywhere.

Weeks went by without us finding it so we had to figure another way to unlock the doors. I started using a credit card. I tried not to let any of the kids see what I was doing because it didn't seem prudent to teach the kids how to break into locked doors. I thought I was being sneaky but apparently I wasn't.

One day I was locked in a certain room when I heard the twins banging for me to let them in. When I didn't they ran off, and I heard them come back just seconds later and the lock started rattling. Almost immediately the door opened and they came in showing off their lock picking tools:

Will had the metal key which meant that he took it weeks ago and knew where he had hidden it weeks ago! I believe in a court of law that would easily qualify as premeditation. Just pause and think about the ramifications of a two year old stealing something, listening to his mom asking about it, watching the entire family search for it, remaining quiet then remembering where it was and knowing how to use it at just the right time in less than a minute! It's kept me up at nights :)

Wesley had run and grabbed the credit card I was using which means all those times I thought I was secretly using it to open doors he knew exactly what I was doing. He also knew where I kept it and was able to grab it where I thought I had it hidden in just a few seconds. At least they're both industrious???

Now take a moment to consider the two together. They found a locked door, somehow communicated the need for a key, went separately and both managed to quickly find and use different lock picking techniques! Then of course there was how incredibly proud of themselves they were! All scary stuff, right?!

So, there is photographic evidence of how in trouble and outnumbered I am around here.

Even though this is the last terrible twos with two post, I am under no false illusion that these posts, and more dangerously, the mischievousness behind them is going to stop just because August 8th has arrived. Today we will celebrate surviving to 3 and the amazing gifts these little stinkers are. Tomorrow the terrible threes with two will begin. You are still praying for me, right???

You Know You're in the Terrible Twos with Two If..." #35

you are at Bunco trying to relax with your friends because you've had a trying day home alone with said two year olds as one wrote on walls and the other told you he was going to pee on your couch and then did it! when your phone rings and your husband says, "I'm sorry to bother you but Will has stuck a Cheerio up his nose and is coughing and sputtering. What do you think I should do?" I obviously told him to squeeze his nose and squish the Cheerio and if that didn't work, at least they have holes in them he could breathe through then I went back to playing :)

Are you getting tired of these posts because I'm getting tired of living them!

And I left out the rest of Jon's story where he was in the kitchen fixing dinner when he heard the car horn honking and realized they weren't in the living room watching a movie but outside in my car!

So to recap today alone: both peed in their pants while we were trying to run to Sonic to get mommy Coke to make it through the day, got up at naptime until Mommy was ready to run away, colored on walls, peed on school table, spilled said Coke on my couch, threatened to pee on couch, peed on couch, got spanked for peeing on couch, went outside and got in car alone, spilled entire bag of Cheerios in the living room, stuck said Cheerios up nose, smeared ketchup on bookshelf, got up at bedtime until Daddy was ready to run away, are still getting out of bed as I'm writing this at 10:18.

I think we're at intervention time in this household. I need to stop blogging and start reading a few parenting books obviously.

You Know You're in the Terrible Twos with Two If..." #34

You get to unexpectantly teach a mini lesson on the difference between chalk and crayons when Wesley comes walking out of his toy closet holding his chalkboard eraser saying, "It not workin'. It no comin' off." You peak in the closet with much trepidation to see where he colored in crayon on the wall (Hey, at least it was inside the closet this time unlike last time!). So, lucky me got to explain why crayon doesn't come off like chalk. The good times and teachable moments never end around here!