So, I'm back. I wonder how many times I'm going to start my blog with that sentence after long absences. Of course, it isn't like I've been off on exotic vacations or eating bonbons. I stopped blogging a few weeks ago because every time I tried to think what I wanted to talk about all I wanted to say was, "My back hurts! My back hurts!" I figured you poor people are tired of hearing the sob story that has been my health lately. After suffering with what I thought was the worst back attacks of my life all night I would be exhausted during the day. Finally, the Friday before Thanksgiving when the pain was so horrid I became sick to my stomach Jon finally took me to the ER. I had my gall bladder out early Sat. morning. I was supposed to go home Sunday afternoon. Jon already had groceries in the car and my pain prescription filled, and my IV was out when my temp. went up. They kept me until Tuesday when I walked out in all my open down the back gown glory and informed the nurses' desk that they could find the doctor to release me, or I would release myself because I hadn't seen my babies in 5 days, and I was going home! It worked, and I got to see my babies who I swear had grown- A LOT!
I'm so afraid all of you will quit reading my blog because something bad always seems to be happening! So, I'm determined to always see the positive things! Instead of continuing to be bummed about the fact that I've been in the hospital 7 or 8 times in the last 7 months (I have honestly lost count!, I have decided to celebrate all the things I learned from the situation. So, here goes...
What I learned from emergency gall bladder surgery:
1. I can't handle my morphine. Not only did it make me itch and swell, I had lots of conversations with people that didn't weren't in the room.
2. I am mean to my husband when in pain and on drugs. When they wheeled me in from surgery, I asked him to get me ice. After 3 starts, he still hadn't given me ice. I informed him he had 30 seconds to get me ice or I was going to divorce him. The nurse got a kick out of it! I also continually mummbled in my drugged state, so he would lean in to hear me. Then I would come to and tell him to get out of my face!
3. Though for 16 weeks I have been dreaming of sleeping through the night, it's not as fulfilling when you're so drugged you can't appreciate it.
4. When on said drugs and forced to watch Soaps for lack of anything else on, it is very disconcerting when they are doing a hazy dream scene. Add that on to your actual dream like state and things get really out of whack and you think you might be totally loosing it.
5. Doctors and especially nurses don't hesitate to give you good drugs when you have a good reason (probably becaue it makes their patients easier to deal with), but use them sparingly. I came home with 2 bottles of Oxycotin. I took one (pill, not bottle) when I got home and 20 hours later when I came to, I decided maybe some Tylenol would be better. If I had any less morals I'd try to sell it to pay our medical bills! JK:)
6. Showers are an underappreciated luxury, and 5 days is WAY too long to go without one.
7. Being a recovery room nurse would be fun (Sonja, feel free to sahre stories!) because I'm pretty sure when I woke up I heard one nurse tell the other, "She's out of it. She's already told me she's straight 3 times." Which begs the question what was she doing that made me feel like I should tell her I was straight! Scary and embarrassing!
8. When the doctor tells you you can't go home until you start walking more in order to fend off pneumonia, you will walk the halls for hours on end even in an open-backed gown and an extremely unwashed state!
9. 5 days is way too long to go without seeing your babies (unless of course, you're somewhere tropical with your husband!).
10. Lastly, this being my first surgery experience after learning how I respond to medication and that they hurt, I am beginning to rethink my dream of having some work done to have some unmentionable areas restored to post baby status!
There you have it, 10 wonderful things learned from a horrible experience. I just hope the hospital doesn't see this or they'll probably try to charge me for the learning experience like they did for the murky water they called a liquid diet! Also, FYI don't quit reading my "bad news blog" as my new year's resolution is to stay Jon's "vertical wife" as he calls the non- bed rest/hospitalized version of me that can actually do housework! Here's to a hopsital free new year and a return to happy blogging!
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1 comment:
So I am completely cracking up. I am so glad you are back on the blog circuit to give me some giggles. You know my favorite lesson was the one about the recovery room nurse.too funny! and by the way, in #10, if you ever do have the surgery you've dreamed of, you may want to be restored to PRE baby status. I'm hoping it was a typo because I'm not sure of anyone who would choose to look as though they have birthed 4 children :)
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