Thursday, June 5, 2008

The Brat Whisperer...

Ok, get ready because I'm about to shock some of you. Now most of my dear friends here in "The Hill" won't be shocked by this, but maybe some of you with more sensitive sensibilities. Here goes: last night I spanked my daughter!!! Hard to imagine how this beautiful child could ever do anything to deserve such punishment, right? Well, let's just say that for the last week or so she's made me really prove how much I love her. Meaning if I didn't really love her as no one else could, she'd be on the curb! I'll just tell you that guilt has been the overriding emotion of my life. When I think of my childhood guilt is the first emotion I remember. I'm honestly getting better but still am extremely susceptible to it which is why I've developed the horrible habit of always apologizing (which some of you fuss at me for- Kyla, Angie and Jen :). If you need me to do something make me feel guilty about not doing it (if you need tips on this ask my mom or grandmother-just kidding! Now I feel guilty for writing that,seriously! SORRY!). This is kind of like my kryptonite, and my daughter has learned to use it masterfully. Now it's not, "Mommy please play with me." It's "You never play with me. You're always too busy with the babies." I lay awake at nights worrying that I've ruined her life already. I mean I knew she'd think it in a few years, but she's starting early!

Lately, she's been having full on fits and can just be unpleasant to be around at times. Last night was one of those times. Jackson and I had finished our supper so I took his hand, and we snuck off to his bedroom leaving Jon to deal with the fit she was throwing on the floor about eating her dinner. We snuggled up in his bed, and I let him read his science book to me. It was such sweet quiet time and in came Ashton (apparently Daddy didn't make her eat her food!). She started banging on his piano and singing into the microphone. I sweetly asked her to come snuggle with us but not to make so much noise. She took a baseball and threw it at me. OK, so it was a plastic one with holes all in it but still. I pretended not to see it and then she threw it again and hit me in the back of the head! Obviously, I couldn't ignore this.

So, to the bathroom we went. We had a long talk, a spanking, then hugs and kisses. I thought she had seen the light when 2 minutes later she was throwing another fit because she wouldn't put her pajamas on. This time I sent Daddy to deal expecting to hear another spanking. In a few short minutes they came down hand in hand with her dressed perfectly in her pajamas. She was sweet and smiling like an angel fresh from heaven. She came right up to me and apologized for everything she had done wrong the entire day. she went and fixed me a glass of water without being asked and asked if there was anything else she could for me.

Then came the part Jon won't let me live down. She said, "Daddy, you really taught me a lesson. You really taught me good manners. Mama didn't teach me anything. Cause Daddy you're so strong and smart. I'm never gonna touch your computer again because it's important. Mommy's isn't." Seriously- no sarcasm, said just as sincerely and sweetly as her little heart could speak. Jon is dying laughing- at me because I am sputtering and angry, no disgusted.

So, there you have it ladies and gentlemen- Jon Dodd, a.k.a. "The Brat Whisperer". He has told me what he said to her, and I don't think it is much different than what I did, but I guess I don't have his psychic connections with brats (that could be a good thing or really unflattering since he was drawn to me?).

Here's the good news for you: while the world waits for him to publish his how to handle brats guide- I'll rent him to you, CHEAP! The only problem is, it apparently doesn't have lasting effects as she came daringly close to a spanking again today, not to mention told me that the shirt I was wearing made me look like a clown. Nice...

1 comment:

Ashley said...

I think it is God's little way of helping you be ready for August! Callan is doing the same thing (with probably video footage from the ToysRUs parkinglot to prove it). I mean a full fledgged throw himself on the pavement temper tantrum ( and he did not even do that when he was 2 or 3).